earloffabulousness:

When i was little i wanted to grow up to be a disney princess but im pretty sure i just became Yzma 

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(via orgasm)

egberts:

intercourse more like yes of course

(via orgasm)

(Source: dilllonfrancis, via theedmlife)

sigurrossgeller:

Man comments “boobies :p” on attractive female friend’s new profile picture in vain hope of creating sexual dynamic

(via funnierthanjesus)

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(Source: star-loser, via seattlesmoke)

(Source: still-o-rama, via orgasm)

So the drugstore I was in today had a perfume display. Here are some of the perfumes I came across.

earlploddington:

jessicarabbit:

tenr0se:

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Dirt

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Funeral Home

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Weed

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Grass

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Holy Water

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Laundromat

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Leather

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New Zealand 

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Play-Doh 

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Wet Garden

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Tomato

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Suntan Lotion

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Sex on the Beach

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Riding Crop

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Soap

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And Finally, Swimming Pool

"No officer, for the last time, I did not smoke weed. Thats just my new perfume, cannabis flower"

amazing

(Source: allo-nsy, via techn0logic)

joshpeck:

my hero

(Source: husssel, via orgasm)

hsuoring:

wetbottom:

wetbottom:

one time i had a crush on a boy and he knew but he didnt like me back so on april fools he asked me out as a joke and i said yes but then he said april fools so i punched him in the face

please do not tell me i was wrong for punching him. i had very deep feelings for him. he knew that i did and he took advantage of that to humiliate me. i had every right to knock his sorry fucking teeth out

Proper measures were taken and I encourage everyone to follow this example

(Source: ezrabot, via techn0logic)